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In the self-help world, fear is a bit of an anti-hero darling. We are reminded to feel the fear and do it anyway, embrace our fears and not let fear get in the way of who we are really meant to be.

All these heroic calls to action miss one crucial truth. Fear has many faces.

Fear stalks us in many ways. And the fear of losing something important to us – a job, relationship, health, home, identity – doesn’t fit into a neat package. It doesn’t respond to a steady diet of affirmations.

It’s easier to acknowledge ‘I know you’re scared but the world needs what you have to offer’ than ‘I know you’re scared it feels you’re losing something important’.

This type of fear overshadows all that is good in life. It vacuums the joy out of everyday beauty and creates a void of unfathomable darkness and pain.

And it requires a level of compassion that reminds us we are not here to do life alone.

It is the people around us who, if courageous enough, step into the void and hold our hand. And sit with us in the darkness, with a small candle and open hearts.

Because facing this type of fear requires a steady rhythm that is easily lost in the chaos. And finding our way through takes time.

But in my experience, if we allow those around us to hold us and love us then the risk of being completely lost in the darkness is lessened.

And the chance to find our way – slowly and with much love – gently unfolds before us.

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Life Coach and Group Facilitator
Facilitator of Men’s Groups and Women’s Coaching Circles

Inspiration to live a Brave Vulnerable Audacious life

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