Even though I knew I needed it, I felt resistance to the idea of going away by myself for a couple of days. All I could think of was how lonely and bored I’d be. But mainly lonely.

I love people, especially another adult whose company delights me.

Why go away by yourself? Away from a familiar environment, to somewhere new and strange without another person (or people) to enjoy and share it with?

As I grappled with these questions, a friend shared her experience of a recent solo trip. All the life issues that were swirling in her mind before she left settled into peaceful clarity on her trip away. Perspective shifted, insights floated effortlessly to the top and she recharged without the distraction of home routine and pressures.

We do everything possible not to be with ourselves, to escape the lonely quiet solitude of just being.

But within the solitude is a rhythm uniquely our own, untouched by the energy of others. And given enough time, it finds you. Or maybe you find it.

The trick is to allow the rhythm, not resist it. Being away by yourself can feel uncomfortable at first. Arriving anywhere new is a jolt, especially without someone else to help smooth the bumps.

Allow yourself time to arrive. To notice the discomfort and doubts.

Arrival may take hours or days, but it’s an important transition. You’re here, and you are by yourself. But within your aloneness is freedom.

Freedom from decision-making and responsibility, freedom to do what you want, freedom to eat what you want (which for a lot of women is rarely fully enjoyed).

A challenge may mean not doing what you – or others – think you should be doing. You should go here, you should do this…

Releasing the ‘shoulds’ on your solo trip ushers in real freedom. When my mind gets hooked into a ‘should’ loop, I breathe and settle into myself. By asking for guidance in that moment, I’m always given my next step. As simple as it might be.

And ever so gently my solo trip not only rejuvenates my spirit but I’m reminded where my true wisdom resides. I reconnect to the tender truth of what is most important to me.

I am guided by and in service to Love.

Do you ever go away by yourself? Would you like to?

(More here on how I look after myself on a daily basis)

Midlife Rebel

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