I’ve been in private practice as a Life Coach for a while now. Yet a part of me is still in awe when a new client and I start working together. Because sitting across from me (or on the phone) is someone who is prepared to look at life through a different lens.

Someone who has an idea of what they want from Coaching, but are still willing to trust that neither of us knows exactly where we’ll end up.

Recently I was working with a client who got to the point of asking ‘who am I?’. The tightly constructed version of herself that had developed since childhood no longer served her.

But if she wasn’t that, who was she?

This is a deeply sacred conversation. It requires space, respect, trust and courage.

Not all Coaching conversations go to this depth, but to be with someone as they sit in any place of contemplation and self-reflection is a privilege.

Life can be painful and challenging. But it’s those people who say ‘what I’m doing isn’t working’ or ‘I need to deal with this differently’, those are the people I deeply admire.

So when is the time to do your Work? To end the cycle of going it alone and look outside yourself for support?

Whenever my internal resources (the stuff I know to do) isn’t working, I need to look outside myself.

For some, it’s when the ‘same sh*t different day’ feeling keeps coming up.

It might be when someone else – a friend, work colleague or partner – triggers a reaction in you that pulls apart the seams of your life.

Or it might just be a sense that life could feel better, but it doesn’t.

But this work requires a level of self-awareness. The ability to stand slightly back from yourself and look into your life. Viewing your life like a neutral outsider might.

And this is where a skilled therapist, coach or healer can be enormously beneficial.

The more you practice the art of looking at your life from a different angle – with curiosity and compassion – the greater the chance of dealing and healing what life brings you.

And then the courage to ask – what am I prepared to do to feel better? What am I willing to do to create a life I love?

(More here on what this means to me)

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