I love a quick recap for an ongoing story so here it is – I separated from my husband kindly, lovingly and respectfully 3 years ago, we lived apart under the same roof for the next two years and a year ago we moved into our own homes…which just happened to be next door to each other.
Once the physical separation had occurred, I dipped my toe into the dating scene. I had become deeply curious about the dance between the masculine and feminine when it came to attraction and partnership.
Initially the journey led me to connect with my own feminine essence and appreciating the power and beauty inherent in me, as well as the complexity and nuances.
Next came the opportunity to study the masculine at a deeper level. I dived into this with the eagerness of a modern-day explorer, keen to understand the mysteries of masculine energy.
But it was only when I started actively dating did the pieces start to make sense. I was in the arena, as Brene Brown might say. And I was testing out my new-found knowledge.
I felt at home with myself, I understood where my power lay and I welcomed all the experiences as a way to honour myself and the people I was meeting.
After a whirlwind of dates, I met D. The connection was intense, instantaneous and mutual. And somewhere along the line, I fell in love.
But what does that actually mean? I’m not sure but I can tell you how it feels. Overwhelming, scary, magnificent, delicious, anxiety-producing, beautiful, tender, crazy-making, sacred and totally heart opening.
New relationships are tender, fragile and precious. They bring us challenges and opportunities only possible when intimacy meets attraction.
The Big Reveal – who am I really? What are my core wounds? What is my Shadow Self hiding? – starts from day one and continues as life shows up as life has a tendency to do.
It’s a roller coaster and the price of admission includes an aliveness and energy burst that changes how the World looks and feels.
But when you decide to approach the relationship consciously and with intention, the price of admission includes an invitation – more like a requirement – to really own your own shit.
To be prepared to have challenging, painful conversations. To know that feeling scared is ok, because you’re both human. And as beautiful as they are, relationships are scary.
But the opportunity for growth and the chance to be true to yourself is worth every raw and vulnerable moment.
Just so long as you remember – you are doing the best you can. Go easy, be gentle. Love you first. Always remember to love you first.
Inspiration to live a Brave Vulnerable Audacious life
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